No contact with parents reddit But, I still have to fill out FAFSA to qualify for this program. I feel ready to have this conversation with them. There were never any more phone No Contact is a safe-place for those that have gone "no contact" with a person/people in their life. I tried to set up a small boundary and when they wouldn't accept that it kinda just escalated to no contact. It's also valid to question why your parents didn't get you help! Actually no, staying would be more painful because I refuse to go back to alcoholism to cope with my backwards/too traditional/no communication/Dv in family/SA in family/hide everything from everyone - family! I want to know; has anyone else gone no contact with parents or family to keep their sanity? I just can't take it anymore. Aged 7 I chose no A Reddit community for sharing and discussing science-based psychological material. Your experience and your brother’s experience differ. How did you go no contact with your narcissistic parents? [Advice Request] I’ve been working with my therapist for years now and have finally made it to the point where I think I’m ready to go no contact (or something close to it) with my parents. She would say “no thanks”. My parents are both gone, and I was no contact with my mother for 7 years prior to her death, because of her control issues and ALWAYS being right. It hasn’t been that long actually, 3 months now. Share Add a Comment. But his uncle is just like ok at first, and now that it’s been a while he like it’s long enough now! No one dictates how long you want to take to recover from the abuse. Now I'm unsure about the apology thing. my mom has had a really hard life. Throwaway for obvious reasons. They did not respect my boundaries, of course. Thing is I’m really not a bad person I’ve made a happy family in a happy marriage in a new city with great jobs. Instead they picked up their broken relationship with my scapegoat brother and now apparently Ive traded places with the original scapegoat. This parent does not respect or understand boundaries, and will not think they did anything wrong. They have done extremely hurtful things to my husband and I and their motto is “forgive and forget” and do not want to take accountability for anything. ADMIN MOD Divorced parents with little or no contact with their children are lonelier and less satisfied with their lives psypost. Should I apologize to them? Will it be considered breaching no contact or boost my ex's ego? Thank you ️ 1. i also come from an emotionally neglected childhood, with some added consistent tantrums, and while my parents has somewhat mellowed, they were still more consistent in being moody, grumpy and being very untactful than being respectful to me as a 31F adult. Yes, these are totally valid reasons to go low contact. I’m M36. I went no contact with my uncle when he fat shamed me in his home and that I walked on eggshells while staying in his home. Extended family in country of origin. I've been no contact with my parents for almost a year now and it's been the right choice for me. Tell them you're fine and A community for adult children that are, are thinking about, or were estranged from one or both of their parents. She likely relished in every moment that she got to step in and say “No no no, my child can’t eat that”. For context I am the last of 7 siblings - all of which are low or no contact with parents. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or I went no contact with my father and some years later he died. If you start noticing a change in the behavior of your child, if he or she stopped talking to you and the family, if you see your child angry or depressed, you need to take this seriously I'm proud of you, it's not easy! My stepdaughter has been no contact/low contact with her egg donor (her words) for years. You can be thankful for that, and also acknowledge that their current behavior is rude and inappropriate. It's why I didn't No-contact children feel as though they can do absolutely nothing right in the eyes of the parents. i love her and i want to be able to be No linking to Facebook pages. ” “If anyone BUT your parents treated you this way, everyone would say Kick em to the curb That was the day we officially started No-Contact. In Japan, only one parent, mostly the mother, has the custody. "I will not respond to any communication. I wouldn’t oppose her for trying to encourage low contact versus no- but at the end of the day you know what’s best for you and having that option is your right. Please My parents are both dead now- the last of them went about a year ago- and I don't regret going no contact for the last 20+ years of their lives, nor were there any deathbed reunions. NC = No Contact, LC = Low Contact, VLC = Very Low Contact Fast forward to 2 Christmases ago, things really hit the fan on Christmas Eve and a few days after I made the difficult decision to go no contact and my sibling made the same decision. It just want to use FAFSA funds first, then it covers remaining costs. I want to support my sibling as best I can, and I know that our parent will put up a huuuuuge fight to try and get me to get in the middle of it. This subreddit is for support for those that have, or want to, go no-contact. I think there was a video of a professor or at least a professional on how no two children have the same parents. My parents also have this whole Asian community / fake friends in the suburbs, who have tried to reach out to me as well. Glad you're on this sub at a young age though. It took him years to get the message across. They will if anything like my parents continue to pressure you into things you don't want and for you to fix things. They could easily be lied to and manipulated to bring you into the picture and it wont be a healthy time/example for them. Actually I did try to contact her a few months after but she was drunk on the phone so I hung up. I (16F) am trying to figure out when I turn 18, I should cut off contact with my parents. No diagnosis by media/drive-by diagnosis. My parents don't care about me at all and frankly i don't care about them. I just saw a potential hurdle because I have no contact with my parents. I would make the choice to go no contact if my adult children made heinous decisions or if the relationship is so toxic that space, not closeness, is needed to repair it. My husband finally saw how toxic his parents were, and unfortunately was made to choose between the family he created and the family he came from. I refused to see my grandmother and her bloody awful husband from about age 10. Yes, they've done a lot for you. He enabled her to treat me like shit. So growing up you could imagine my Anna Russell on a growing movement to destigmatize going “no contact” with one’s relatives. As an Asian i know I’m part But my actual parents were child molesters, thieves and losers and there was no guarantee the future would be any different than the present or past. Best. I have been completely 100% no contact for decades. I've been supporting him the best I can, but I have trouble relating to this issue. (For context: I went no contact with my mother because she obviously wasn’t equipped to be a good enough parent). Additionally, it sounds like you’re the older sibling. Throughout my childhood and No Contact is a safe-place for those that have gone "no contact" with a person/people in their life. No direct linking to anywhere on reddit. Now I feel guilty, and think I should apologize to them, as they were hopeful. I’ve been no contact with my four siblings from 17-30 and then very low contact a few years to try and see what could work. My dad died about 17 years prior to her. How you deal with your APs are different than how your brother chooses to deal with them. No, you need your parents to apply for FAFSA. The peace I feel is indescribable. I told my parents I didn’t want to see them again and they weren’t going to see their grandchildren again and I was going NC. Earn it yourself, you won't gain anything even if they accept their mistakes. After working through childhood trauma with him for several years I see my parents for who they are and I would have been healthier with no contact. To send a clear message Go no contact. I am a bot, or would it be to make your parents happy? I would have gone no contact years before (Im 40) and I wouldnt have gone to Parents should be aware of the brainwashing behind the No Contact trend and how this trend that has been going on under our noses for a long time now, is affecting the mental health of our children. Then he moved further away to be with his new partner who was the epitome of evil step-mom, and my dad made me choose between playing nice with her or no contact. My family has a lot of opinions on how I live my life and who I am. It’s a sacrifice but a GOOD one No content advocating violence, revenge, murder (even in jest). It’s really a case by case thing. I will flat out admit I made some big mistakes , had some personality flaws and carried my own baggage from my childhood . i'm currently typing this just a day and a half after i got kicked out of my parent's house. He realized their relationship was abusive. How do I know? Because I’ve tried. Better to go low and eventually no contact without telling them and keep them on a low information diet. NC = No Contact, LC = Low Contact, VLC = Very Low Contact So, I don't really wanna type my whole life out, but my parents have never been the best. I'm writing in hopes of getting some advice for him on how to deal with the feelings and doubts that come with such a hard decision. just sharing, i have recently came to term with going extra low contact with my parents. they both also had difficult childhoods, and in turn made my childhood horrendous, and i have had what sounds like a similar trajectory to yours: the healthier i got, the less possible having relationships with them became. She didn’t come to my 21st, I didn’t go to my graduation because neither parent were interested in coming and it felt sad going with no So yeah I’ve been about 5 years fully no contact. Parents died years ago so I don’t have to deal with that part at all since more than a decade. i miss the people that they could have been to me. It's never on them. I have been no contact since I moved out at 16. I was suffering from the thouoght of suicide when I was under their control. So basically I am 25 years old and finally went no contact because my parents kept ignoring me for 3 weeks now. i am safe, and so is my cat. No contact has an initial extinction burst that can be fierce while it's still blowing, but I feel it's more healing than LC or VLC in most situations, and also easier to maintain long-term for people who are really bad at setting and maintaining boundaries, and bad at fighting for themselves and what's best for them. I wish I had done this sooner, like 16 years ago when I left Backstory: I was low contact with my mom since 2016 and then fully no contact in 2017, after my mom continually disrespected boundaries I had set with her. Aged 7 I chose no When I was 18 my other sister outed my “best friend” as my girlfriend and my mom freaked out. New Also shamed and guilted despite what happened. But just because you apply for FAFSA doesn’t mean that your parents have to pay for college. I understand that they are broken people who There is an uptick in going no-contact with parents simply because you can now. I cut her off when I was 13 because she decided to throw a large solid wooden dinning room chair at me because i wanted to watch anime in my own livingroom on closed captioning with headphones. Got that right. Then when he graduated and moved out he made no attempt to stay in contact at all. Haven't spoken to my so-called father in 6 years. Get the Reddit app Scan this QR code to download the app now. WE THE PARENTS went no contact with both. She was rude, violent, she would gaslight & she was every kind of abusive. 13 yrs later, still trying to put me in the ground but not before trying to split up a 42 yr marriage which did not work. Need advice: I cut off all contact with my parents for 2 years now. He remarried 4 months after she died to a woman who had two adult children who had been no contact with her for years. Top. It sucks but the biggest thing is to remember that as shitty as not having a family to rely on can feel, people in our positions never really could rely on that family in the first place. Also, he used to verbally and emotionally I'm a younger millennial, and I'm currently low/no contact with my parents (it's been about 2 years). NC = No Contact, LC = Low Contact, VLC = Very Low Contact I didn’t write a letter because my parents are not capable of introspection, self-reflection or empathy. My parents didn’t accept that, they kept trying to FaceTime and ask when they could see the kids about 3 weeks into no contact, my dad drove 30 minuets to my house and knocked on the door. My (F25) partner (M26) decided to go no-contact with his parents last month. I would say my mom was a bit mentally/emotionally abusive and my dad is her enabler, but compared to others in this thread who are no contact with their parents, they aren’t evil. And I’m curious, are the Memes accurate? Are they really trying to figure out what they did wrong? Are they still stuck in their hateful narcissistic On one hand, my life is so much better- no drama, no issues with fielding judgment and criticism, no need to monitor what I say and how I say it. I luckily have a very kind therapist which I trust a lot and she helped me through it, also helped me type the texts and all. He was convicted and did jail time. It is also a hard thing to realize that my "family" isn't loving or caring, that dealing with two narcissists is painful and awful, and no matter what or how I do anything, they won't ever change. You are not wrong for wanting to go no contact. Because it’s recovery. I managed physical no contact 10 months ago, and total no contact few months ago, no regrets, and I have been finally healing. Since then, my parents and my mother's sisters have absolutely refused to honor requests to stop contact. The goal is 21, Didn't go NC with either of my parents but with my maternal NGrandfather. I am beginning to see that. The kids will get older and it will be nice to get everyone together after establishing these healthy boundaries, and that doesn’t apparently make me a bad family member :) Thank you for this discussion! I needed time to process it all before responding. well, mostly just really sad. I wouldn't make a thing I am a 22yr old female still with my abusive parents. would i be a terrible person for limiting or ceasing contact to my parents. I’m tired and I feel relieved. A report from a psychologist states that the child “They don't know what I want from them, they clearly can't be the parents I want them to be, and all they want is for me to let go of my baggage and have the happiest life possible. I went no contact with my nmom. You would usually go no-contact after this person has affected you negatively and it is ultimately better to no longer have anything to do with the person. May post my reasoning at another time. I haven't spoken to my mother in almost 15 years. No Contact is a safe-place for those that have gone "no contact" with a person/people in their life. I (25F) had similar issues with my parents. Over the past few weeks he's been attempting to make more frequent contact out of the blue. Just text or send them a letter saying that Not my parents though, my mom’s normal and my dad passed away. The feelings you're having about it are valid. NC = No Contact, LC = Low Contact, VLC = Very Low Contact. Him and my mom split when I was about 3. My family is a bit different from yours. Since I was around 16/17 I have played with the idea of going no contact, that is If contact from your parents makes you this anxious, I think going no contact will allow you to regain your equilibrium and start to heal the damage they caused. Now they don't bring up the No contact, I moved to abroad so I am more protected legally and physically from my parents. Haven't been for about 10 years. My sister ( who is / was the golden child ) got the worst of it. Tell them what will happen if they contact you and then enforce that boundary 100%. I suspect the only reason they are reaching out is because my cousin's wedding is later this year and my parents and I are invited. For a full list of our rules/more information, click here. By 20, I was back in therapy, working full-time, and living in my own apartment, though my parents were paying my rent, so still couldn't go no-contact. He has 8 siblings (one being my father), mother, nieces/nephews etc and none of them believed my sister despite all the evidence. My brother is also no contact with whole family. I’ve been wanting to go no contact with my parents for years. My husband (26) and I (28) have been no contact with my parents for about 4 months now. Don't pick up those calls, tell your friends to do the same. As someone who grew up with a narc grandmother: I was unbothered, when my mother went no contact for 1 or 2 years. They were pieces of shit and I was not going to allow my own children anywhere near them. And to answer your question, I became emotionally estranged from my mum at age 5. No contact is the best option but naturally there will be some situations where that isn’t possible. Just this past weekend, I was going through a lot of mental health issues and was at the point of taking my own life. And if you can make peace with something like that, then you can make peace with One poster described feeling torn about going no contact because their parents “are nicer now. My youngest sister broke contact with me after about 8 months of NC with my parents, my dad kept occasionally reaching out including asking for stuff back they gave me as a way to get me to contact them, luckily my social worker suggested to be a go between so then my dad stopped reaching out as now he actually had to make an effort to get the stuff back he didn't really want When my therapist initially talked to me about my parents being abusive and cruel to me I felt defensive and tried denying it. I did so much therapy though. I am Gen X good luck out there finding your next victim dil. Knowing I never had to try to convince her to acknowledge me as a separate I am a college student in my early 20s, with asian and conservative (both socially and religously) parents. I’ve been trying to get my stuff out for a while, because I don’t know whether he’ll be willing to let me have it, especially since he has that “everything you own is Been no contact with mum 3 years before she died and no contact with dad for just over a year. Most recently her mother didn't show up for her birthday. Every where i tried to enquire about this , everyone is adamant that pass port verification requires parental involvement. But no contact wouldn't mean I don't love them. I decided my parents loved their house and rules more than any relationship with me. For me the whole point of going low contact is to reduce the amount of time in any given day to this whole area of thinking about your parents. If you are going to be happier, you can do it. No contact, I moved to abroad so I am more protected legally and physically from my parents. No longer in contact with my father. Please I am a 28yo female who has had a difficult relationship with my parents for my entire life. Why is no contact vs low contact, therapy etc. I went no contact with both my very abusive, unstable and seperated parents. Open comment sort options. I left home at 18, did low contact for a few years, but I couldn’t take it anymore. They want to cause drama. So, this is kinda long but I'll do my best. Anyway my answer is No, I do not believe she feels any guilt or is even capable of feeling empathy to be honest. I can’t handle the toxicity anymore and my husband and I are about to have our first baby in February, which has highly motivated me to Not my parents, but my grandmother. I am very low contact with my mother for practical reasons (I never bring up my personal life). Now I’m in my kid 30s and after years of low contact I finally went no contact. I have tried maintaining contact with my siblings in the last month or so since going no contact with my parents but it is fruitless. Yes, they raised you. My parents' bad behavior made us estranged from all extended family and we missed out on 25 years of healthy relationships with I didn't go no contact when she stole my identity, car (and refused to pay taxes), and grandmother's ring (my father's mother). Parents and family are tricky things. I've been in therapy for three years, and this is the right decision for me to escape a toxic, abusive family situation. 3K votes, 496 comments. Edit: They’re not horrible people, so it feels like no contact is excessive and we should be able to resolve this. I am no longer insulted or confused. I recently went no contact with my father. He continued to have a temper tantrum over every minor issue and want to argue about everything with me. She’s also tried to triangulate my husband and I by sending him texts about her being upset with me, as well as guilt trip me for saying “No” to her wanting to come to visit during our Use a bank that your parents have no connection to-- they might use your known information to deposit money and then try to manipulate you into contact "because they pay your bills". In the last week of February, I blocked them without saying any words to initiate no contact. What cemented staying no contact was when I discovered through an AncestryDNA test that my Dad was not my biological father, a I still wasn't able to go no-contact though, because my parents were paying for my tuition+housing. He was fairly insecure at that stage and would often yell at my parents for no real reason. I went no contact with my parents about a month or two ago. He kept coming to her apartment demanding to have some amount of contact after she went no contact with him. I went no contact with my female parent over 10 years ago and my life is so much better without that woman in it. I was no contact for 3 years and now have rare contact with boundaries. So it's going to be a rough conversation. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns. But in hindsight I would have felt protected, if my parents had prevented any contact with my grandmother. And every day I spend in adulthood I realize more and more how fucked up my childhood was. 7 years I’m NC with my mother and I didn’t specifically tell her that I was going no contact but we were having an incredibly heated conversation where she said things I will never forget and I stopped her and told her I was done and hanging up before this went further. Now they don't bring up the I'm thinking about going no contact with my parents now that I'm 21 and I don't know what's going to happen and the anxiety of the unknown is messing with me and making me doubt myself. As much as it hurts do it. But that though has gone since I left them. And she never will. It happens a lot, same with me. Leaving them saved my life, made me start a new career, start a new degree, I was thinking about starting a support group for no contact parents . But yeah, the things I would go i went no contact with both of my parents because they were both manipulative and self-involved at their best and highly abusive at their worst. Its still hard, everything has changed. In 2021, I finally was able to come to the decision that I needed to go completely no contact with my entire family. My best advice would be to move away, try to subtly distance yourself as much as you can (don’t take initiative to call or communicate) and you might find you can have almost no contact without the conflict or “hard feelings”, so that if you need something (FAFSA, co-signer, birth certificate, etc) that bridge is still there. I don't think they have any serious personality disorders. . I’m now no contact with them again. I have endless horror stories. Members Online • chrisdh79. I went no contact cold Turkey one day and never looked back. He pays child support and he's allowed to send his daughter 1 letter a month, but she very rarely replies, and it's always very short. That pattern continued for I saw both of my parents in there, and myself as an internalizing child. I miss my dad but my parents haven’t missed a beat. Nobody told me about it, which was fine with me, because I quit contact with the rest of his family too. No content advocating violence, revenge, murder (even in jest). But damn it feels so good that I should have done this years ago. I opted for a succinct text message with my boundaries; do not visit me, do not contact me by any means, through any channel. We do not get along, we are constantly fighting Here is a link to no contact daughter to mother. We constantly argue about so many things and It's a constant battle between them. Absent fathers, who choose to be no contact with your estranged children, But my parents were together for years, they were established, I was planned and wanted, It's typical reddit that about half of this thread is people complaining that deadbeat/disappearing fathers won't answer, No Contact is a safe-place for those that have gone "no contact" with a person/people in their life. sometimes there is just no choice to go no contact otherwise the toxicity will just pass down from generation to generation. As far as your own situation goes, your mother sounds very difficult to deal with, so why change anything? Hey everyone! I hope it's okay to write here, I don't always get reddit rules haha. I plan on going no contact with her as well. I had gone through years of being either NC or LC (no contact, low contact) with both or one of my parents. I have recently made the decision to go no contact, and even though it’s my choice, internally I feel like I am grieving a huge loss. You need space to clear your mind. They will test the parent every chance they can. This year on my birthday they sent me a card begging to hear from me and talked about how parents never stop loving their children. By the way, this all took place from October 2016 to February 2017. I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. I had a narc parent as well. To answer your question: NO. Of course sometimes I miss them but I realise I miss the familiarity because my body was used to that treatment for so long and of course they are my parents - there is an emotional attachment. honestly part of the reason you’re humiliated, and maybe one of the people you’re most angry at is yourself for it, is because of what a braggart you were. This is just a snapshot What finally made me go no contact? It was actually a bib. But I overall have no regular contact with my parents. Tell the police in your city that an estranged family member may try to call in a wellness check on you to try to force unwanted contact. No contact for almost 2 decades, they croaked last year, no regrets. You can also do it in your own time. They have very limited contact with any family member and only calls when they feel like it. I had gone to therapy, gotten on meds, but there would always be some sort of situation that would occur that would send me into a spiral and one day I just decided I A community for adult children that are, are thinking about, or were estranged from one or both of their parents. Honestly I should have done it ages ago because I've had great excuses like him killing my cat or all the physical abuse as a child or how he treated the rest of my family at my graduation, but what drove me to go no contact was something he said a couple a few weeks ago. Or Those who have gone No Contact with their parents: what factors influenced your decision to do so? Locked post. Hey, I also just went no contact a couple months ago. My parent gave us the bare minimum of care and remembers it as giving us everything we ever wanted. She doesn’t know I have a daughter or my own family now. Contact will be interpreted as harassment. Since then I would receive the occasional email, text, or call and I would ignore as I've set my boundaries. So I did and was very strict on boundaries the whole time and continued to stay low contact for a while. Either way, the temptation to explain or even maybe to change their perspective will be strong, but that is not likely to have any kind of positive impact. Your folks don't respect your boundaries. I unblocked them today. So if they need their information I quite literally cannot provide it. You know what they did was unfair but there's no way to undo that now. What do I need to watch out for/make sure I do when I go full no contact with Been no-contact pretty much almost 2 years now. Fast forward to a couple of months ago, she shows up at my home and a huge scene is caused because I told her no to taking over 20 totes of holiday totes. My maternal family aren't much better. You are cutting contact because your parents won't give you money. Is it a much-needed corrective, or a worrisome change in family relations? This subreddit is for support for those that have, or want to, go no-contact. I gave up on him and his still alive psychotic mother. My biological " father "made three attempts to contact me all of those three times came with a demand. He never made me feel welcomed and didn’t even give me a hug or anything when my mom and I flew back to Chicago. Common reasons for estrangement are abuse, differing expectations about family roles, neglect, clashes based on personalities, or value systems like religion. Last time I chose to cut my favorite aunt off for good because she told my dad that I’m still with my abusive ex boyfriend and lying about it, and that I dropped out of school with out telling anyone, that I’m not working, and I will likely end up pregnant or a drug addict. She doesn’t know where I live. Best decisions I ever made. Horrible emotional and verbal abuse growing up and sometimes physical too. It’s been 7 years of no contact. But damn it I feel so FREE now, no longer scared, I dont have to worry about my baby going through a relationship with her and questioning himself like I once questioned myself. So no thanks, If I had kids I would have no interest on exposing them to that level of toxicity, no sadness in that respect. I found out that he died by searching online about a year after. Keep it No direct linking to anywhere on reddit. He lived around the corner so had regular contact. We cut our parents off because we had to, and honestly I feel more equipped to deal with the bullshit life brings alone than I ever did with my No content advocating violence, revenge, murder (even in jest). I am always seeing Memes about boomers who cannot understand why their adult children have gone no contact with them. There was no discussion with them about it, it just needed to happen. It’s your life and you have to claim it. I supported his Decision and he’s been better. Reply reply My aunts are constantly trying to ruin my relationship with my dad by either telling lies or twisting the truth crazy. They will push their buttons by setting boundaries that will empower them rather than feeling powerless. I don't want to just pop into her graduation after not seeing family for 3 years and pretending things are fine. It took a few months of no contact for them to give up and reach out again. There's a lot of denial and misshapen perceptions that were clouding my judgment of how necessary and good no With me, I went no contact with my parents and although they did try to carry the “caring” facade, they haven’t contacted me at all in going no contact. I did go LC with my parents at one point, but now I'm back in their house, and I'm planning my second round and this time it's for good. Everything I shared was used against me. Also any advice with going no contact is welcome. i'm staying at my aunt's (dad's side) for the time being, and she has so graciously welcomed me with open arms and a shoulder to cry on. You’ll be Someone commented it here or it might have been on raised by narcissists, there were various pages on the blog about why adult children go no contact but there was such an interesting page where he talks about how it’s interesting parents say “I’ve no idea why they cut me out” but then goes on to systematically break down point by point how they have made it clear and A community for adult children that are, are thinking about, or were estranged from one or both of their parents. long time listener, first time caller (f24). But this isn’t like many of the stories of people that were treated horribly and went no contact and now the parents want back in. should I initially went no contact after doing the work, going to therapy, and seeing that my mother was never going to change. Foster parents never cared. Tbh I would personally not let them have any contact with the children. That led to many fights, my mental health worsening, and ultimately me dropping out of college. I think a heads up into what I'm getting myself into might help. Even to get to the point to feel like I could stand going no contact with my father especially was difficult. true. Her mother knows exactly how to draw her back in, but only to hurt her again. I want to go no contact with my parents. It's NEVER the fault of the parents ("god knows, we did our very best, we gave them everything, we were not abusive, we had a good relationship till all of a sudden - nothing, no contact at all. Sort by: Best. the gold standard I’ve read about the most when it comes to dealing with a narcissistic parent? If I had to guess it’s because of how stubborn they are and unwilling to change, because that’s my personal experience. Icy_Bit_403 • 2. Good job 👍 (throw away account because my main account has my real name) hi all. But she made sure it happened at the exact age my child was when she died. I think people think LC or VLC is "easier" because it SOUNDS less drastic. Of course it's normal to feel that way about your parents, to feel bad about going no contact. So maybe if you do want to go no contact for yourself. For those of you who have gone no contact with your N-Parents, how did you initiate it and keep it up? I am very much ready to be no contact with my parents, especially now that they are grandparents and have proven time and again that they are not capable of being anything but abusive and toxic to our son. The therapist told me this was really unusual behaviour for a parent. I would straight up tell them not to call me if they aren't going to treat me as an independent adult. Also, keep in mind that they my parents have openly told me they're ok with it. " If you are afraid they will stalk you, you may want to say that you will call the police, if they come to your home. she is horrible to me and extremely manipulative, but i also feel so sad for her. You don't have to justify your reasons. ” Yeah this doesn’t mean they want to go no-contact. Been absolutely no contact since. i'm 23 years old. If i go no contact with my parents, won't I be issued a passport. When you do have to think about how to deal with your parents, there are lots of other ideas in the reply posts, but you might like to bear in mind you might not feel that great about any of it, whatever way you decide to go. I've been wanting to get a passport and my parents would just not allow that to happen. I am no-contact with my mom. health wise since they have recovered and have no need for help or care, and left the country. I went no contact with my mother over two years ago - she is a textbook narcissist. i feel so scared and alone and like i need my parents, but it only ever goes well with them for a short while until there’s more issues and i end up hurt and sad. For preface my parents are extremely traditional Hispanic parents. It seems like your parents really tried to continue to be good parents but you were so humiliated. org Open. I think temporarily no contact and eventually low contact is what I am thinking is best. My mom is very traditional and VERY religious. I've been no contact with both of my parents for just over 6 months and I'm in my mid-30s. Been no contact with mum 3 years before she died and no contact with dad for just over a year. He started deleting all e-mails after that. No content about N-kids. Went no contact when I found out my uncle raped my sister when she was 10. She would tell you it's because she kicked my wife and I out because we were If you have no contact with your parents and don’t know where they live, or you’ve left home due to an abusive situation, select “Yes” to the “Do unusual circumstances prevent the student from contacting their parents or would contacting their parents pose a risk to the student?” question on the 2024–25 FAFSA form. Hello! I have a sibling who is going no-contact with a parent that I remain in contact with. So once I turn 18, in about 2 and a half months, I plan on going no contact with my very controlling and narcissistic father. My parents are not evil. No pure image posts. When I needed support I could not find any . Keep it My youngest aunt and uncle went non contact with their mother (my grandmother), because both my grandmother and mother were narcissists and my family was very toxic. Well, now I have kids, and I've officially gritted my teeth for the last fucking time. They feel they cannot ever make the parent happy or fulfill their expectations. Thank you for responding because your words of pointing out my brothers unsubconsciously or subconsciously way of setting my kids up for the same treatment struck a nerve with me. Income doesn't affect the programs assistance. Reply reply More replies More replies. Please respect the safe-space. I, female, 46, have had issues with my So I have no contact with any of that side of my family. I'm ALMOST no contact, but I'll still send a card or something here or there just so they know I'm not dead. When our communities were much more connected and smaller it was less likely simply because you had to go grocery shopping and dad worked at the grocery store. My wife (37F) went no-contact with her parents after realizing she was the scapegoat in a narcissistic family unit (father was an enabler, sister was the golden child, mom (67F) the narcissist). they've also said "a phone works both ways, notice how we're not calling you" they have also I'm in my 20s F Asian American with (for the most part) very traditionally minded asian parents. She asked what my Nmum would do if I invited her around for dinner. A community for adult children that are, are thinking about, or were estranged from one or both of their parents. As of now this parent and I do not talk and live seperate lives, we both dont make contact either. And now that she doesn’t have that any more she’ll be looking for a new way to derive attention from her child and from other people. The grief of being diagnosed with ADHD and realizing how much you've lost because you didn't have meds is intense. Befor I left them I was jobless and unmotivated. We didn’t know how horrible she actually was until my dad died. Haven’t spoken since and that was July 4th 2020. He then got married and literally ALL contact went through his wife (now ex). Try to get them to fill it out, because if you don’t then you’ll have to pay full price. My parents were boomers. My fiancé went no contact with his parents, no physical but PLENTY of mental abuse. Please I went no contact with my female parent over 10 years ago and I'm here partly because it's just really nice to have a space where it's not weird to be estranged from a parent and partly because I want to be the person who has been there and done that who I really could have used when I was thinking about going no contact. I'm tired of my mother not letting me have a relationship with my siblings just because i'm no-contact with her. and this action was performed automatically. i just completely cut off contact with my parents today and while i know that it is probably for the best, i feel so guilty and sad and. And they never looked back. ") The parents are totally mystified, no idea at all, and blame "social media, narcissistic spoiled kids, bad therapists". So I moved on. Leaving them saved my life, made me start a new career, start a new degree, A community for adult children that are, are thinking about, or were estranged from one or both of their parents. No linking to Facebook pages. I wish I'd done it earlier. When I left home at 17 it was something I had been dreaming of for years- I had always wanted to run away. I went no contact for about 3 months before my GC sister convinced me that she had come around and I should spend Christmas with the family. mwifezh cyuohx tprpz cgvdcb jbusw jla sux wlwll kzrdx jmpkx